An Ode to Jerks
Disclaimer: This blog entry is not meant to be read by females or by guys with feminine sensibilities. Please read at your own peril
This one is for all you jerks out there whom i have met and been with in school, college and professional life. This is my humble tribute to all you guys.......
The fundamental trait which i think defines any jerk is the ability to infuse pervertness in any simple situation in life.
Just the look on their face when they see a girl is a give away. They look at girls' legs as they are chicken legs to smother, they monitor the gait of any girl as they walk, oohs and aahs and whistles flow involunatarily from their lips, they elbow their friends and say "Dekh Maal jaa raha hai". With any girl in viewing vicinity they will scan them top to bottom, front to back and then in reverse back to front, bottom to top and then with a twisted lip give a smile as if they are the cool dude arnd and with their stare only they have won the girls' heart
And mind you they dont call them "girls", thats too simple, there is a huge vocab around it and the distinct diction with which the word is thrown at you conveys the hotness of the girl . For instance --> "Kyaaaaaaaa Maal thaaa be" or "Bomb Pataka Cheez hai" or "Item thee baap" or "Tabhayee thee bhai" and on and on. Also everything is a maal like gora maal, sanwla maal, chota maal, mota maal, bomb maal, dhamaal maal and so on
These jerks are always shrewd and smart. While travelling by train they will scan the reservation charts of how many females are travelling in their coupe and their age so they can plan their moves, in the boarding queue for airplanes they will jump people to see if there is any chance to be seated next to a single girl. The jerks are very helpful by nature also, they will ensure that if your school/college is over they will follow you till home to ensure your safety, if you wave to stop an auto they will stop their bike and ask you "Chodh de ghar " (Shall leave you home?) and they will be persistent till you insist on calling cops
Pastime of these jerks are also very constructive, In movies their core area is porn in literature penthouse is their favorite series, magazine playboy and debonair are really informative according to them.
Even when they watch TV they watch it for the girls. I dont know why all female contestants in those reality shows like indian idol loose with a billion jerks rooting for them, probably the jerks dont care to SMS. But yeah dont mess with a jerk when it comes to his knowledge about porn n stuff, he is "educated" period
However all said and done i have noticed one thing that their is a jerk in every single male that exists, so if you girls out there think that my father, my brother, my boy friend, my husband is not a jerk ..... take a step back fundamentally all of us guys are jerks on some level and that is what keeps us going ... and when these jerks find someone to tame them then only they change ....
So this one is for all you jerks out their waiting for someone to change you ...
This one is for all you jerks out there whom i have met and been with in school, college and professional life. This is my humble tribute to all you guys.......
The fundamental trait which i think defines any jerk is the ability to infuse pervertness in any simple situation in life.
Just the look on their face when they see a girl is a give away. They look at girls' legs as they are chicken legs to smother, they monitor the gait of any girl as they walk, oohs and aahs and whistles flow involunatarily from their lips, they elbow their friends and say "Dekh Maal jaa raha hai". With any girl in viewing vicinity they will scan them top to bottom, front to back and then in reverse back to front, bottom to top and then with a twisted lip give a smile as if they are the cool dude arnd and with their stare only they have won the girls' heart
And mind you they dont call them "girls", thats too simple, there is a huge vocab around it and the distinct diction with which the word is thrown at you conveys the hotness of the girl . For instance --> "Kyaaaaaaaa Maal thaaa be" or "Bomb Pataka Cheez hai" or "Item thee baap" or "Tabhayee thee bhai" and on and on. Also everything is a maal like gora maal, sanwla maal, chota maal, mota maal, bomb maal, dhamaal maal and so on
These jerks are always shrewd and smart. While travelling by train they will scan the reservation charts of how many females are travelling in their coupe and their age so they can plan their moves, in the boarding queue for airplanes they will jump people to see if there is any chance to be seated next to a single girl. The jerks are very helpful by nature also, they will ensure that if your school/college is over they will follow you till home to ensure your safety, if you wave to stop an auto they will stop their bike and ask you "Chodh de ghar " (Shall leave you home?) and they will be persistent till you insist on calling cops
Pastime of these jerks are also very constructive, In movies their core area is porn in literature penthouse is their favorite series, magazine playboy and debonair are really informative according to them.
Even when they watch TV they watch it for the girls. I dont know why all female contestants in those reality shows like indian idol loose with a billion jerks rooting for them, probably the jerks dont care to SMS. But yeah dont mess with a jerk when it comes to his knowledge about porn n stuff, he is "educated" period
However all said and done i have noticed one thing that their is a jerk in every single male that exists, so if you girls out there think that my father, my brother, my boy friend, my husband is not a jerk ..... take a step back fundamentally all of us guys are jerks on some level and that is what keeps us going ... and when these jerks find someone to tame them then only they change ....
So this one is for all you jerks out their waiting for someone to change you ...
posted by reshu at 6:28 PM
7 comments
